Tessolari blog

Alexithymia explained

Wed, 20 May 2026 08:14:00 +0100

Second in our Traits explained series, after Time blindness explained.

Some people read their feelings like a wall thermometer — there it is, hot or cold, easily named. Other people have to look harder, and sometimes the feeling stays unreadable however long they look. That second experience has a name: alexithymia (pronounced uh-lek-si-THY-mee-uh). It is well-documented, common in autistic and ADHD adults, and it is not the same as not having feelings. This piece sets out what alexithymia actually is, why standard emotional check-ins often miss, and a few approaches that genuinely help.

Getting started on Tessolari

Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Welcome. If you’ve just signed up to Tessolari, or you’re thinking about it, this is the post we wish we could hand to every new member with a cup of tea. Nothing here is urgent, and you don’t have to do it all in one sitting. The platform is built so you can dip in, do a step, leave, and come back later.

What Tessolari is for

We’re a peer support platform for the small, practical things that make day-to-day life easier — form-filling, online admin, friendly check-ins, tutoring, skill-sharing, and the occasional bit of company at an appointment. Most members are neurodivergent. Many also offer support to others. Some are family, friends, or allies who simply want to help.

Staying safe when offering or accepting in-person support

Fri, 24 Apr 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Most of what people do on Tessolari is online or async — drafting emails, walking through a form on a video call, or chatting in messages. But some of the most useful work happens in person: a hand at an appointment, a hygiene check-in, a board-game evening, an hour of clay-handling. We want those meetings to be straightforward and safe, for both sides. Here’s how we think about it.

Start the conversation in writing

Use the on-platform messages for the first few exchanges, even when phoning would be quicker. Written messages give you both a record of what was agreed, time to read at your own pace, and a chance to spot anything that doesn’t sit right before you meet. They’re also visible to our moderators if a problem ever needs investigating.

Time blindness explained

Fri, 17 Apr 2026 00:00:00 +0000

“Time blindness” is one of those phrases that gets used everywhere and explained almost nowhere. It turns up in ADHD self-help books, autistic forums, and burnout articles, and it can mean slightly different things to different people. We thought it was worth setting out what we mean by it on Tessolari, why we treat it as a real thing rather than a personal failing, and what actually helps.

What time blindness is, and isn't

Time blindness is shorthand for a difficulty perceiving the passage of time and predicting how long things will take. It is not laziness, it is not a moral problem, and it is not a polite fiction. It maps onto a recognised area of executive-function difficulty.